#WarriorPoet- TOP 5 MAN/WOMAN MISCONCEPTIONS

I’m the Relationship Guru… NOT! BUT again, this is Valentine’s Week so I’m just sharing. I’m sure these are boring to you but don’t trip, it’s almost over. Today is Day #4 of me doing 5 Days straight, of sharing TOP-5 posts that are tied to male/female scenarios that I’ve come across.

Monday: -Top 5 Things That Men Hate To Hear From Women
Tuesday: -Top 5 Things That Turn Men Off
Yesterday: -Top 5 Things That Turn Women Off

Based on what my friends come to me complaining about, I can tell that these things are MAJOR issues:

#5 Mr. and Mrs. Right:
Everyone is looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right. Everyone wants a person that can make them happy and complete them and be everything that their heart desires. And that’s dope! But very few people are looking for someone who they can be all of those things for, FORE MOSTLY. An attitude of service needs to be the cornerstone of your thought process when getting into a relationship. Seeking a person for whom you can be all things should trump you finding a person who can be all things for/to you. Mr. or Mrs. Right is the person who you would enjoy serving the most AND out of you serving them comes the things your heart desires. Mr. or Mrs. Right is also the person who turns you into a better person through serving. If my dream is to be a better cook and it just so happens that I get home before my Mrs. Right, it makes sense for me to prepare dinner for us both. I’m serving her and through serving her, I’m also becoming the thing I’d like to become.

#4 Opposites Attract:

Nah, son. Maybe with the South and North ends of those magnets in 5th grade science class but that’s about it. Yes, there should be things about you both that have absolutely nothing to do with each other. Yes, there may be things about you both that are diametrically opposed. Yes, you might like BIG and she likes Pac. And cool, you’re a Coke person and Pepsi is her thing but the core beliefs, and values need to be in alignment or else this party ain’t gonna happen. You can’t have a person with an ‘A’ set of morals, customs and beliefs and a person with a ‘Z’ set of the same and expect that to be perfect harmony. Not saying it can’t work but most likely it won’t. It’s just like any other team. You find a person who is on the same page as you, NOT THE OPPOSITE PAGE, and then you carve out what’s best for you both.

#3 Attraction To Others Is A No No:
If she just tweeted “Idris Elba Can Get It” and you start dating her a few weeks later, you’re a fool if you think she STILL doesn’t think that about him. The feelings may not be at the forefront of her thinking anymore since you’ve come along. And she probab… well, she BETTER NOT tweet that again but she will still have an attraction to him and that’s fine… She’s Human. I mean, just look at the way you grind your teeth when Media Takeout shows Serena Williams vacationing on the islands in that new pink 2-piece… EXACTLY! People will always find other people attractive. DEAL WITH IT. It’s how people display these attractions that determine whether the line of respect has been crossed or not. It’s actually healthy if each person in a relationship can openly express the crush that they might have on their favorite celebrity or athlete or what have you. Now, the problem is when you or your mate has a thing for a co-worker or that chick in the small tank top at the gym. That’s something that needs to be controlled. But the attraction in and of itself is healthy and natural.

#2 Decoding:
I’ve only met one mind reader in my life. And he was drunk so technically he doesn’t count. Unless you’ve both been married for years and you basically can smell when the other person is thinking something or feeling something, these types of things need to be expressed. “Well, He’s supposed to just know that I’m mad” is not gonna cut it. Now, there are innate laws of common courtesy and basic fundamental rules of Do’s and Don’ts that most people just understand without them having to be said… And I’m learning that not even those are as innate as we think. But, outside of those, for the most part people are not going to know what’s on your heart. This is a fast world, with a lot going on, at a high rate of competition. Your relationship should be where you escape the foolery of the planet and find comfort. You shouldn’t have to to hustle all day and then come home and have to work hard at reading your mate’s mind. Don’t force your mate into having to read your mind.

#1 Communication:
He says, “I’m very articulate. I use examples and analogies to get a point across. I speak direct. And I make it very clear what I’m thinking and feeling. I’m a great communicator.” Nah, bruh. That makes you a great speaker. Communication has more to do with being receptive and allowing for a flow of information than being a static deliverer of information. Communication comes from the Latin communicationem which is to inform but also to join, unite and participate in. The cliche, “Communication Is The Key” is the real deal. You canNOT over look this. Don’t just be a great issuer of information. More importantly be the best receiver of information and have a willingness to serve based on that information which brings us back to #5.

Check out “Questions Questions” from my 2009 Salon Stories album, It’s timeless and has a lot to do with what you’ve just read. You can get it on iTunes or a Hard copy delivered to you via Amazon. Or just click those links to listen to a sample of it. It’ll make you laugh but it’s so real and relatable at the same time.

Your thoughts? <~~~~ It pains me that I say/request this at the end of each post and most of you ignore it like it costs you money.